Have you separated from your de facto or married partner but neither of you have moved out? Are you still living under the one roof?
It’s a common situation in Australia at the moment. Why?
Cue the current cost of living crisis and the financial challenge of being able to afford to move out of the marital home. Even if you can afford to move out, where do you go? The rental housing market is in a desperate state. There are very few rental properties available, let alone suitable ones in the right locations that are affordable. The housing sector is in dire straits at present and people who are really feeling it are those recently separated, who want to move away from their ex-partner and can’t find anywhere affordable to move to. And it is even harder if you have children. Staying in the school zone, remaining in the community and trying to be close to work. How is it possible to tick all the boxes in a housing crisis? The answer is often that it is impossible. In a housing crisis, choices are few.
And hence, many separated couples are living under the one roof, biding their time and waiting for their situation to change. Sometimes it’s just a matter of selling the marital property and liquidating assets to release cash for settlement; waiting for the sale to go through.
Living separated under the one roof is a challenge at the best of times. Add financial pressure, time pressure and the challenge of living with your ex (when you really would rather be somewhere else, to put it nicely) and you have a ticking time bomb worthy of 007.
Add in a relationship characterised by family violence, coercive control and/or abuse and then life gets really, really hard. And dangerous.
Even in relationships where family violence doesn’t feature, living separated under the one roof is a recipe for disaster most of the time. It can only last so long. People need to move on with their lives.
The date of separation is extremely important for family law.
Did you know that “the date of separation” is the starting point for calculating the twelve months you need to be separated before you can be divorced (if married) or to calculate the two years separated (if de facto) to resolve your property matters. Living separated under the one roof can blur the clarity of identifying the date of separation. You begin to see the challenges.
If there is disagreement between the parties as to the date of separation, this can impact the ease of the divorce application. And the cost – as extra court documents may need to be filed. Which might also pose a problem if either party are seeking to remarry quickly.
The date of separation can have great impact on the property settlement too as one party may want to quarantine assets or liabilities from that date out of the settlement. The other party may want all assets and liabilities included until the date of finalising the consent orders or binding financial agreement. And who pays for what post-separation is a consideration also for the court, so identifying when separation finally occurred is really important. There’s a lot to think about.
[Confused? Call us for a chat about your situation!]
So, if you’re living, or intend to live, with your ex-partner pending property settlement and/or divorce, be really clear with each other about what is happening. Your lawyer and the court really will drill down into such questions as when did you last have intimate relations (so to speak), who does the washing of the clothes, who does the domestic chores around the house, how is parenting arranged between you, who pays for what (especially the rent or mortgage as applicable), are you living in separate rooms, have either of you re-partnered, do your family and friends see you as separated or still as a couple, are you still holidaying together, what happens on special occasions and who pays for the children’s expenses?
When in doubt as to how to act while living separated under the one roof, ask yourself what would flatmates do? If you wouldn’t wash your flatmate’s clothes back in the day, then if you want to prove to the court that you’re separated, don’t go washing your ex-partner’s clothes now.
Want to discuss your separated under the one roof situation? And how to move forward?
Call now for a free no-obligation initial discussion. We’d be happy to help.
